The Outsider Finds Solace in the Masses

It took me a long time to appreciate growing up always on the outside. Not belonging to any particular group gave me the freedom to become whatever I wanted later in life. When I entered University in the States, I wasn’t limited by a certain identity or type of friend. I was free to pursue interests I’d never known existed. No longer did I feel embarrassed for “being Native but not looking it”. I floated easily between cultural groups- always accepted. My unique features made it difficult to place me in a single category and instead of being excluded, I found myself accepted in each of them. I found I could finally accept and feel peace with my cultural identity, rather than shame. I began to volunteer with the cultural youth groups and found a job mentoring Native American high school students in southern Utah and Arizona. I was very active in many cultural groups on campus and I had friends of every color and ethnicity imaginable.

I'd grown up playing pond hockey with my brothers and cousins. At University I had the opportunity to play organized women’s hockey. My brother also played for the men’s team. My family and I were big supporters of the hockey team and helped to grow their fan base. During my third year of college, I was living with my older and younger sister in a large apartment building.